What to do now?

Dear Diary - 5/12

I was hoping that by now I would be able to figure out what I am going to do with my life.  It's getting more and more difficult to do anything now.  No one at work believes that I'm pregnant, I'm still not showing, but I've taken several home tests - all positive.  I REALLY REALLY need to get to a doctor.

I had been talking to this guy online that owns his own pizza shops and he's pretty nice.  He has brought me pizza a few times and given me rides to and from work.  He knows I'm pregnant and still he's nice to me.  Somehow though, I think he wants more than just friendship.  I can't handle that right now, so I made it clear to him that I was not interested in having a relationship with anyone right now.  But still he's nice. Almost smothering.

I have not heard from my friend, the man with the glasses, in a long time.  I think about him often and wonder how he's doing.  I miss him.

My mom has moved to the east coast and my grandmother has offered to let me move in with her until I can get on my feet again - I just need to work for my room and board.  I don't mind that.  She has lots of yard work and things for me to do.  And she wants to travel, so I can pet sit for her.  That sounds like my best option yet.

Mountain guy is still pressuring me to move in with him and his parents.  I don't want to do that.  If I do, no telling what will happen and I don't want to be dependent on anyone.

Pizza guy is coming over in about an hour and we're going to go drive around for a little bit...just to get out of this nasty apartment.  It's gross...nothing works.  My dishwasher exploded bubbles all over the kitchen floor one day, so I stopped using it.  I can't do my laundry in the laundry room because the slum lord refuses to give me a laundry door key, so I have to wash my close in the bath tub and hang them up to dry or put them in the oven.  And then the other day, raw sewage backed up into my kitchen sink!  It is beyond nasty!! I have to get out of here, but I don't know how...and I don't know where to go....